Sid Barett vs. Joseph Joestar
Sid Barett vs Joseph Joestar is a What-If? Death Battle. Description The art of war is a highly psychological one, and these two combatants are prime examples of that principle. It's Joseph Joestar of ''JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and Sid Barett of Soul Eater in a battle to the death!'' Interlude Wiz: In the thick of battle, sometimes one has to rely on more than just fists. Boomstick: Like guns! Wiz: Okay, that too, but I was thinking more along the lines of wit and planning, but okay. Boomstick: Like Joseph Joestar, a master of acting on the fly! Wiz: And Sid Barett, a man, er, zombie, always prepared for combat. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win in a Death Battle. Sid Wiz: Hailing from the Death Weapon Meister Academy, or DWMA, Sid has years of experience behind his belt hunting Kishin eggs and Witches alike, until he joined the ranks as a teacher. Boomstick: It's like Hogwarts, except with child soldiers! Wiz: But...they aren't forced ''into service so it's kind of okay? '''Boomstick: Remember parents, if your kid is stupid enough to want to join the DWMA, let 'em! Adventure awaits!' Wiz: Getting back on topic, Sid was a good, if a bit strict role model to his students, up until the day he died. Boomstick: He's dead? The hell's he doing on Death Battle then, fucking cheater?! Wiz: As I was saying, one fateful day, Sid died an untimely death at the hands of a miniature Statue of Liberty. Boomstick: ...''What?'' Wiz: It's even more ridiculous with context. Thanks to the work of the brilliant Doctor Stein, he was reanimated as a zombie. Boomstick: So he's ''un''dead. I get it, I get it. Wiz: Pre-cisely. Surprisingly though, Sid's zombification didn't grant him many new abilities. Boomstick: A zombie with no powers? What has this world come to?! Wiz: Some. ''He has some abilities. For starters, he can burrow underground at high speeds, though this only seems to extend to hard ground, as he's never shown doing it indoors. Alongside that, he's shown to be quite durable, surviving ''several ''Tadpole Bombs at point-blank, though it took him a few days to recover. '''Boomstick: Screw powers! This man is made of badass, he only needs skill! And guns. ' Wiz: Well, there's more to it than th-- Boomstick: Aside from his zombie powers, this guy's a master of Martial Arts, and he trained Black Star, for god's sake, so that should give you a good idea of what he can do. Not that he needs it though, he's strong as Hell, lifting a lamppost and a ''fucking tombstone, ''and then using it as a weapon! Wiz: And when he isn't putting Atlas to shame, he's using stealth to claim victory on the battlefield. He's a master of the Art of Assassination, which goes as follows (lifted from Soul Eater wiki): : Rule #1: Blend into the shadows. Control your breathing. And wait for your target to let his guard down! : Rule #2: Tune in to your targets. Predict his thoughts and actions!! : Rule #3: Strike your target before he notices you! Wiz: And he puts it to good use, infiltrating the heavily fortified Arachnophobia facility, as well as using it to fight the samurai Mifune to a standstill on the Lost Island, using his surroundings to his advantage and burrowing around to catch Mifune off-guard. Boomstick: When he isn't ''using the most improbable weapons lying around, the man's a veritable goldmine for versatility! He's used knives, gunbows, explosives, whatever the man needs, and he's one hell of a sharpshoot too! ' Wiz: Not to mention, he's a lowkey perv. '''Boomstick: Ssshh! Don't ruin zombieman for me! Don't you goddamn do it! Joseph Joestar Boomstick: Meet Joseph Joestar, an eighteen year-old British punk who grew up on the streets of New York, who later evolved into... an eighteen year-old British punk who mastered the generations-old art of Hamon, an energy channeled from the sun into the user through what else, ''controlled breathing.'' Wiz: The Ripple, you mean. Boomstick: ''Hamon. '' Wiz: Tomayto-tomahto. After his grandfather Jonathan's death, the Joestar bloodline thought they had seen the last of their strange quests. Boomstick: *DISTANT LAUGHTER* Wiz: Oh, if only. Despite his immense sheltering by his Granny Erina and family-friend(?) Speedwagon, Joseph did inherit the powers of the Ripple, a blessing that seemed to skip his father George, unfortunately. Boomstick: And he was ''terrible ''at it. Wiz: In a sense. Though he could pull off a few neat tricks with the solar energy, the intensity of it was rather weak, especially in comparison to his grandfather's. Boomstick: Don't let his general trait of being a fucking dumbass fool you though; the man's a walking improv machine! Wiz: If the situation calls for it, Joseph already has it. Vampires around? Tommy gun and grenades at the ready. Pillar Men lurking? He brings his... oiled balls. Boomstick: Yep, apparently hitting half-naked super-vampires with children's toys turns out to be an effective strategy through the wonders of ''Hamon! ''It works for pretty much any situation, turning a clump of hair into a bulletproof shield, using icicles stuck together as a rope, ''anything!'' Wiz: His impromptu strategy doesn't just extend to the Ripple, however. His turn-arounds during fights often come from seemingly dumb moves that later turn into complete game-changers moments later. It's almost scary how competent he when you consider how he usually behaves. Simple observation allows him to calculate a ball shot with a large crossbow all the way around a coliseum, hitting his intended target from behind. '' '''Boomstick: It really makes you wonder if his brash facade is all a lie.' Wiz: It took him the entire Part to realize Lisa Lisa was his mother after several obvious hints, up-and-including a photograph of her as a baby with his younger family. Boomstick: Just kidding! Demoted to dumbass status. Death Battle! Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles under construction for 1 year Category:Necromercer Category:Adopted by Necromercer Category:Human vs Creature themed DEATH BATTLEs